The Stork Is Coming!

Today, we finally received the long-awaited referral for the adoption of our second daughter (tentatively named Jocelyn which means "joyful, happy"). The only sadness is that she will not have the chance to meet her grandfather.

So, we anticipate her arrival in Canada SOON, Lord willing!

Rage, rage against the dying of the light

Those were the words in the closing of Paul's eulogy to his father today. Paul did a great job and was able to finish it without completely breaking down. It's all been so surreal, my father-in-law's sudden death.

Still, we have the hope that we will be reunited with him one day in heaven. On the day of his fatal stroke, my father-in-law had framed two Scripture verses he had received at the PNE one year earlier. The verses were:

For God so loved the world that He sent His one and only Son so that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life. (John 3:16)

Christ came to save sinners (I Timothy 1:15)

That very night he died. He had been planning to hang up the plaques on Father's Day.

What is the hope of life after death? Is it real? Or just a comfort to those left behind?

Adoption is the Best Option

NOTE: This is NOT a treatise on the issue of abortion. Others are much more articulate and well-versed than I am on the subject. This is only a thought.

Dr. Morgentaler was recently honored with an honorary doctorate degree at UWO for his work in promoting abortion. In his acceptance speech which was full of misinformation and half-truths (i.e. lies), he championed himself as being "dedicated ... to the struggle to achieve rights to reproductive freedom and ... women are treated with the dignity and respect they deserve."

What about the dignity, respect and protection of the unborn?

He goes on to say, that "Women cannot fully participate in society and assume their full potential unless protected against the vagaries of unwanted pregnancies."

That is the first time I've heard of pregnancy described as a vagary. Women can't fully participate in society - what kind of nonsense is that?? It's a good thing that Dr. Morgentaler's mother did not consider her pregnancy with him to be "a vagary" and abort him.

He goes on further to say, "Women cannot be fully equal unless they have control over their reproductive functions."

Again, more rhetoric. Are women mere reproductive machines that can be turned on and off because they have access to abortion? He fails to recognize the unique and privileged position women have in reproduction.

It's too bad Dr. Morgentaler didn't become a champion of adoption of unwanted children instead of becoming a murderer of them.

Women who relinquish their children for adoption should be supported by society, rather than shamed or ostracized. They should be applauded for their honesty in facing their situation and giving their child up for better circumstances. Instead of assuming that "biological is best", society should support adoption as a good option instead of abortion. Then, more "wanted" children would be born rather than "unwanted" children aborted.

Compassion vs. Competence

Lessons on how to be a good physician are taught and re-taught to me each time I have an encounter with the medical profession.

As we dealt with the sombre truth that Paul's father was possibly not going to pull through his stroke, the doctors each took a different approach.

The first one, the emergency physician, Dr. Clinical was rather cold - "Your father appears to have had a very serious stroke and it doesn't look good. You will have to prepare yourselves for the worst." When I asked for more details (like what kind of stroke), he became somewhat terse and when I identified myself as a physician, he became even more terse and irritated. OK, what's the deal here? I was just trying to obtain more information to ensure that the family was not being railroaded into a decision that they would regret later. The impression left by this physician was that the Emergency Department was busy and they needed the bed, so make a decision NOW.

The second one, the neurosurgeon, Dr. I'm Burned Out was even worse. "He's not going to make it. There's nothing we can do." Basically, "I don't have the time of day to explain anything to you that you don't need to know and I'm busy." Not even a "sorry".

Only the "lowly" resident (he actually was near the end of his training) was kind enough to truly express some empathy for this incredibly difficult situation and to give the family time to come to their decision to withdraw life support.

Another reminder that patients want compassion from a physician first and foremost and competence later.

What is Dying Peacefully?

Irony of all ironies.

Early Father's Day morning, Paul's father was taken to hospital because he was feeling ill with nausea and vomiting after his usual evening walk. He was an extremely fit and healthy man (who was 78 years old chronologically, but 60 years old physically) with no symptoms or medical problems. On route to the hospital, he fell into a coma from which he never recovered consciousness. The family came to the agonizing decision to withdraw life support and he died "peacefully."

What does this really mean - dying "peacefully"? Does it merely refer to the absence of pain? Or dying when all you have purposed to do has been accomplished? Or dying when you know God? So many unsaid words, so many missed opportunities (e.g. we had planned a summer trip together as a family since we couldn't go last year due to Paul's illness), so many memories not to be had (Janelle had only known her grandfather for 1.5 years). But most of all, the pain of not knowing where Paul's dad stood with God.

As the family reels from this unexpected devastating loss, words of comfort seem to be so trite. What was the purpose for his untimely departure from this earth? Why on Father's Day? Was he saved?